Podcast 098: Working on your own

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This is Podcast 98 and it’s about getting organized on your own, whether it’s just you, a couple or a family. If hiring an organizer isn’t in your budget, what can you do? Well, I’m not going to dissuade anyone from working on their own. It certainly can be done. My aim in doing this podcast is to give you valuable tips and ideas that you can implement on your own.

In this podcast I’ll give you some guidelines. First, as you know if you’ve taken my ecourse, is to have a vision. Podcast 57 was about that subject, so go back and listen if you haven’t already. Creating a vision is like picking a spot on the map to go to. If you start walking or driving without a destination in mind, you’ll end up in places you don’t want to be, or waste time doubling back or just plain get lost.

Your vision should include how things look and also how they feel, how you feel. You want to have a positive sense of being invested in the project to keep you motivated. It’s much easier to stay motivated when you have a positive vision pulling you forward.

If you want to declutter because your spouse gave you an ultimatum, that’s negative motivation. It will probably get you moving, but you’ll experience fear and anxiety that will not help you make good decisions or work effectively.

Once you have a vision, you can use it to set some goals. I believe in SMART goals, which are specific, measureable, attainable, relevant and time based. There is tons of information about SMART goals online, so I won’t go into this further. Using this formula, you’ll be more likely to come up with goals that aren’t too huge or vague or trivial.

Once you’ve got a goal, or goals, the next thing to do is to figure out what action you can take to move toward your goal. This can be a tricky transition. I find that often people have trouble moving from the big goal and vision to what they can do right now. And what you can do right now is another regular feature of my podcasts. I want to put you into action!

Partly it’s because the goal can seem a bit overwhelming even if it’s a SMART goal. Partly it’s because you have to translate a somewhat abstract goal into concrete action. Partly it’s because you need to pick a place to start. I’ve talked about all those issues in previous podcasts.

Here’s the secret: pretty much any action is a good action. Anything that gets you into motion, that moves you from point A to point A.2 is good action. You overcome the inertia of remaining in one place and get to the inertia of remaining in motion.

I want to talk a bit about how to proceed if it’s not just you doing the organizing. If you’re going to work with your partner or family, that changes things a bit. The first rule is that you can’t organize anyone else’s stuff if they’re older than, say, 6. Family members have to have a say in what happens to their stuff, at the very least and ideally be on board for the project in a positive way.

The second rule is to be flexible. This is a basic relationship rule. You can try the “my way or the highway” method, but it works better to compromise and come to solutions that everyone can agree on.

A good way to get buy in from family members who aren’t as enthusiastic as you are about getting organized is to chose methods that are as easy and simple as possible. I recently worked with a client who’s husband threw his dirty underwear behind the bathroom door every night. He knew where the hamper was, but it was all the way in the bedroom. Their bathroom was pretty small, but I suggested my client get a little basket that fit under the sink for laundry. And it worked. He wasn’t averse to being tidy, he just needed it to be easier.

The third rule is to be specific. If you want your living room to be tidier but you don’t describe what that means, your partner is likely to straighten up some piles of magazines and that’s it. I’ve seen this happen a lot. This goes back to the specific and measureable aspects of your goal.

You need to be clear that a tidy living room has no cast off clothes in it, no used coffee cups, no piles of paperwork, whatever it is you decide on. That way, if there are disagreements, at least you’ll all be discussing the same thing.

My third rule is to make it fun! Especially if you want to get kids involved, and you should, make putting things away into a game or a race. Put on upbeat music. Plan a reward for everyone. It works well to have various family members do their chores at the same time, even if they aren’t working together. That way, you can hold the space for each other. It’s more motivating to do a chore when you know everyone else is doing their chore too.

What you can do right now. If it’s just you, clarify and sharpen your vision and see what goals emerge from that. If there are others involved, start enrolling them in your vision and goals so they can participate.