Podcast 104: Busy people

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This is podcast 104 and it’s about busy people. You’ve probably heard the phrase, “if you want something done, ask a busy person.” Busy people get more done. Let’s amend that to busy productive people, since we know that it’s quite possible to be busy about nothing.

That kind of busy person stays in constant motion but doesn’t get things done, certainly not in proportion to the amount of time spent. The busy about nothing person likes the feeling of being in a whirlwind. There’s the adrenaline appeal of rushing around that can prevent you from realizing that you’re just wasting time.

Busy people are goal directed in their use of time. I’ve written about how deadlines focus your attention in podcast 67 and 94. Bp’s, let’s call them, channel their time to fit all the tasks they’re responsible for into the container they need to fit in, one day, for example.

Busy people don’t mind being asked to do more. They don’t seem burdened by such requests. They accomplish so much because they’re are used to fitting a lot in and know how to do it effectively. To me, this is proof that productive people are happier and they enjoy getting things done.

If you feel tired and put upon by all that you have to do in a day, and resentful when anyone asks you to do more, it’s probably time to examine all those commitments and weed out the unpleasant ones. Maybe you don’t have a dream job. Even then there are probably ways you can turn around or reframe tasks that drag you down.

Busy people realize they don’t have time to waste. Although I’ve recommended building contingency time into your schedule for unexpected events, this technique can backfire.

There’s a fine line between having sufficient time to do something and having extra time. The problem is, that extra time can be an expanding sinkhole that not only stretches out longer than it should, but swallows your focus whole, like a house.

They are very aware of what must get done on any given day. They keep that overview in their heads so they aren’t distracted by things that DON’T need to get done. They don’t end the day with unproductive, unaccounted for chunks of time. That kind of clarity about how you need to spend your time is priceless.

It’s very clear to a busy person that there’s no room in the day for _________ (fill in the blank). It’s important to note that I’m not talking about keeping your nose to the grindstone and not taking breaks or enjoying yourself. If you’ve been listening to my podcast, you know that breaks and naps are ninja productivity tools that you neglect at your peril.

Still it seems odd to ask someone who’s already busy to take on more. The reason we do it is that those busy people tend to be very reliable. We’re confident that they’ll do this new task, on time and well. The reason for that could be what productivity author Laura VanderKam writes, that reliable people become busy people, not the other way around.

Are you ready to get busier so you can be more productive and maybe happier? Here’s how.

Schedule more time off. Yes, that’s right. Give yourself less time to do the same amount of work. Leave the office on time. Don’t come in on weekends. It may feel like a challenge, but I’ll bet you find that you didn’t quite as much time after all. It often turns out that some of the time you used was not truly adding value.

Streamline your work. That means don’t invent everything from scratch. Tweak and reuse documents you’ve already written. Use old projects as models for new ones. Recycle things. Create templates.

Most jobs have tasks that don’t require serious brain work or time from you to complete. Determine what’s needed to get the job done and don’t do more than that. This way you’ll spend less time on routine work and more time doing important things.

Take on one more thing. This needs to be something that really jazzes you and makes you feel energized. It may be something you’ve always wanted to do but didn’t feel you had time for. Something that has the potential to be so satisfying that the positive energy spills over to all the rest of the things you have to do.

What you can do now. Try one of the three ideas I mentioned just now to get busier. Keep track of how your time goes, how productive you are and, most importantly, how much better you feel.

Podcast 103: Focus and daydreaming

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This is Podcast 103. In episode 93 I talked about focus and hyperfocus. This time I’ll go into detail about the perils of not focusing and what you can do about it.

We’ll start with a quotation. “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” That was written by Blaise Pascal in the 1600’s but it’s even more relevant now. I’ll bet many of you listening right now are terrified by the idea of sitting quietly in a room alone, alone meaning no other people but also no TV, no computer, no phone! Could you do it?

Relax, I won’t make you. Still, the problem of increasing distractibility is serious. We have more and more demands on our attention and those demands have fiendishly evolved to be ever more attention getting, mainly by being small enough to squeeze into your awareness, like texts, tweets, posts and notifications.

We may not stop what we’re doing to read a two paragraph email, but we will glance at a two line text, no matter what we’re doing. But despite its brevity, the two line text disrupts our attention as much as the email would have. Disruption is disruption.

When you do make time to read an actual article online, you have to wade through a barrage of ads that zoom across the screen or slide down and block half the screen, videos that autoplay, and flashing banners. Plus, those hateful popups that you MUST click to turn them off because they are blocking the article. I have resorted to putting post its on my screen to cover those so I can stay focused on what I’m reading. Another good trick is to copy the article text into a Word file so I get just text and no dancing images.

It makes me tired. Whether you’re aware of it or not, it makes you tired too. Your mind is naturally primed for engagement. Your primitive brain is on alert because you need to see that tiger before it sees you. When you let in too many distractions, however, you’re surrounding yourself with tigers. Who could get any work done in those conditions?

Giving in to distraction increases your impulsivity. Impulsivity decreases your focus dramatically. If you never resist distractions, your ability to do so will diminish. It will get worse. You will become unable to produce anything that isn’t a soundbite or a bullet point. Worse, you’ll become one of those annoying people who interrupt conversations when some random thought pops into their heads that they can’t stop themselves from sharing. Please, don’t be that person!

Really, you can’t think without focus. You can’t learn anything, make good decisions, solve problems or plan for the future without focus. These critical life skills are seriously eroded by the habit of giving in to distractions.

It’s up to us now, more than ever, to keep those distractions at bay as much as we can. You can do the usual things, like turning off phone notifications and closing browser tabs. I’ve talked about those solutions before. What I’ll talk about today is how you can train yourself to ignore distractions.

Here’s what I recommend: Daydreaming! Give yourself a break not by going to a favorite distraction, but by gazing out the window. Now, if you’re a sea captain, that won’t work. The idea is to do something very different from what you’re taking a break from.

Since most of us these days work at computers, you want to do something physical, moving your body, and something outside, not in the office, not at your desk. You want to switch gears completely. Going to Instagram isn’t going to hack it.

Even when you’re taking a break, distractions can pop up. If you just get up from your desk and start wandering, you are a target for distraction. To circumvent that, have a plan for your break. A simple, easily executable plan guides your mind and keeps it engaged. I mean, plan to walk around the block, get a cup of tea, and return to work.

The more you focus on the physical, the easier it is for your mind to relax. This can take some practice. At first, your mind will probably still be full of whatever you were working on, or what’s for lunch, or a weird conversation you had yesterday, or stress about a work deadline, etc.

That’s normal. Your practice is to guide your attention to the trees outside, the air temperature, the colors of the cars passing by, the feel of the pavement under your feet. It’s like a mini meditation.

What you’ll find when your mind relaxes is that you get more creative ideas. You can stand back and see the bigger picture because you’re not mired in the daily details. You can make connections between disparate things and come up with inventive solutions.

We already know that focus diminishes over time anyway. Even if you’re really good at it, you must take breaks in order to keep your skill honed. So don’t worry about taking a break. In fact, you need to.

What you can do right now: Whatever you’re doing, stop and take a walk. Notice your surroundings. Let go of the thoughts of the day. If you’re driving, let the podcast end, turn off the music and really see what’s outside your windshield, safely, of course. Notice the landscape, or see how many different car colors you can spot.

Bonus tip for drivers: For me, driving is like showering; I’m involved in a physical task and ideas pop into my head. I have a small notebook in my car that I use to jot down one or two word reminders, again, whenever it’s safe to do so.

Podcast 102: Use information

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This is Podcast 102 and it’s about using information. Are you good at gathering information? How about taking notes, on a seminar or a book? Maybe you write in the margins of the handouts, or maybe you create a dedicated binder for all your fantastic notes. But… what happens next?

Unless you’re in school, there’s not going to be a test on those notes. There won’t be a specific, time-sensitive reason for you to go back and refer to them again. To use them for a particular reason; to get closer to getting your degree, for example. What happens to a lot of these notes is that they molder away in your file cabinet, or even in your in box waiting for you to read them again. Now be honest, do you ever do that? Do you ever look at them again? Use them?

My guess is that most people don’t, no matter how well intentioned they are. Note taking is a valuable activity. You are more likely to retain information if you take notes, especially if you do it by hand. There’s something about moving your pen across paper that cements things better into your memory.

But even that slightly improved retention won’t matter after a few weeks. What’s clear and fascinating and motivating in your mind from the seminar you just took is going to fade and be crowded out by new demands on your attention. The poetically named Curve of Forgetting shows that we will forget about 40% of new learning over the first 24 hours. If we wait another 24 hours before reviewing the information, we have lost 60%. And it’s downhill from there.

The magic bullet is to USE that information. Put it to work. Fit it into your life so it won’t slide off into oblivion. If you learned how to tune up a bike, find a friend and tune her bike up. If you learned to knit a hat, knit another one and another one. It’s pretty straightforward to practice a skill like that. If you learned about renaissance art, go get some library books to deepen your learning.

Much information you absorb is more abstract, for example, what you learn from listening to this podcast. Although I talk about specific techniques for organizing and time management, I also talk about my philosophy and psychology and behavioral trends. Even then, I come up with ways you can put those idea into action. Still, it’s up to you to do that. I’m not coming over to your house to make you do it. Well, I will do that, actually, if you pay me.

In other cases, the information is even more abstract or generalized and it’s up to you to figure out how to apply it to your life. Say you take a class about self care. You learn about how important is and all the wonderful benefits you’ll get if you do it. You’re inspired. Maybe you get some great idea you can try out.

Maybe you get a lot of ideas! That can be almost as bad as getting none because you won’t be able to do them all and you’ll have to choose, which trips people up. A weekend conference where you go to 8-10 workshops is a gold mine for this problem.

How DO you choose? I like to keep things simple. I say, just pick something to try. Pick the one that appeals to you right now. Can’t limit yourself to one? Pick three. Three is plenty. Save the others for another time.

What if the class requires you to design your own project? None of the information you so carefully take notes on will do you any good without that critical element. This is another common situation where you just need to pick something to apply all the learning to. It could be a marketing class where the information is totally abstract until you relate it to your own venture.

Trust me, you will learn much better by choosing something to work with in the class, even if it turns out not to be your ultimate idea. Trying to apply the information at a later date doesn’t work as well, not the least because you don’t have the support of the class structure to help you.

Now, the nitty gritty: how do you use these ideas?

Change is hard. Repeat after me, change is hard! Take advantage of anything and everything that will make it easier. That means blocking out time in your schedule to practice, putting your running shoes near the door, taping a note to your bathroom mirror, etc. It means setting aside time to review and practice, calling your study buddy regularly for months after the class ends and planning out the steps of your project to unfold over time.

What you can do now: Don’t just stockpile those notes! Find some notes from a class or project that you were excited about but didn’t pursue. Review them and see if you can identify a skill to practice and make part of your life.

Podcast 101: Stop acquiring

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This is podcast 101 and it’s called stop acquiring. Last time I talked about completion, that is, including time to put away whatever you just brought home or got in the mail or used for some purpose or that’s out because someone else didn’t put it away. Sure, blame someone else. It stands to reason that the more stuff you have, the more completion you need to do. Wouldn’t it be nice to have less to do, so you have more time for fun?

Today I’ll talk about the perils of acquiring. That includes shopping and all the other ways stuff comes into your life: gifts, freebies, hand-me-downs, swaps, white elephant parties, free samples, inheritance, loans you never returned and buy-one-get-one offers. There are lots of ways that things sneak into your life!

I read an article by a consumer psychologist that had some intriguing ideas I haven’t heard before. One of them is that when people spend a lot of money on something that they cherish, they perversely rarely want to use it. They don’t want it to get damaged or dirty or used up. It kind of makes sense, but it’s also nutty. Why buy a thing that you never use?

Even stranger, people buy substitutes for those valuable items that they do allow themselves to use regularly but the substitutes are often cheap and kind of crummy, compared to the original item. That means there’s an undercurrent of dissatisfaction with the lower quality item, which in turn makes people want to shop more. Weird, huh?

An example of this is fine china. I’ve done a lot of unpacking for people so I get to see what they have. Bwah ha ha ha. What I see is beautiful, expensive plates, cups, serving ware, etc. that takes up many china cabinet shelves but is only used once a year, if that. What’s in the kitchen cabinets is mismatched, chipped dishware, or just boring plates that are serviceable but that the owner has little affection for. This seems kind of upside down.

Do you ever make a special trip to a mall or shopping district and not find the thing you were looking for, but then feel compelled to buy SOMETHING or else the trip was a waste? That’s another tricky consumer mindset. If you come home empty handed, you may feel unproductive. You didn’t get the thing you set out to buy. But when you think about it, just buying something to justify your trip doesn’t make sense at all.

Free stuff is irresistible to most of us. Me included! A friend recently gave me her old toaster oven. I didn’t have one and my life was terrific without it. Now that I have it I’m thinking up ways to use it. Frankly, besides heating up leftover pizza, I haven’t thought of any reasons that truly justify keeping it. I don’t really have room for it either and it’s cluttering my kitchen counter. But I still have it. Because it was free! It doesn’t seem to matter to me that I could buy one for 30 bucks at Target. I feel trapped by this little toaster oven, so I do understand how this works.

However, I also know that sometime over the next few weeks I will realize that I’m not using the thing much, that I hate how it takes up so much counter space and that I can easily go out and buy one if it turns out I must have one. The dopamine hit of having a free item just drop into my life as if by magic will wear off. Whew. I also know that most of the time I am quite capable of turning down free items that I don’t currently need or want. After I do that, I forget about them entirely.

Note that I mentioned items I CURRENTLY need or want. A big source of acquisition is what I call aspirational buying. I talked about this in podcast #66. Aspirational buying includes fabulous outfits that will look great at that boat deck cocktail party you haven’t been invited to yet. It includes exercise gear that you think will get you to exercise, instead of using the stairmaster to drape clothes on. It includes fancy cookwear or kitchen gadgets for dishes you will make once you take that special cooking class. It includes sports equipment for a sport you don’t know if you even like doing yet. Back in podcast 13 I talked about letting stores store things for you until you need them.

When I help people unpack I see how overwhelmed they feel seeing all their possessions out at once. Most of the time they are shocked to be confronted with so much stuff and truly don’t remember acquiring it.

To get unstuck from your things, reflect on which of them really gives you pleasure or that has a valuable purpose in your life. Be grateful for them and consciously appreciate them. This can increase your satisfaction and lessen your desire to acquire something new.

Imagine being free of the tyranny of stuff you want to hang onto for illogical reasons, the same reasons that marketers target to get you to buy. Protect yourself from offers that are too tempting; emails from stores that offer you deals all the time and, one of my favorites, don’t go shopping unless you actually need something.

What you can do right now. Look around and see if you can find something you got on sale, or for free; something you didn’t intentionally buy and spend decent money for. Ask yourself whether it really deserves a place in your home.

Podcast 100: Completion

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This is podcast 100! Wheee! Today I’m going to talk about completion. Some of my podcasts are about concrete actions you can take to get more organized or use your time better. A lot of them are about the concepts that underlie these actions.

I never like doing something unless I know WHY I should do it. So I won’t ask you to do anything without explaining why. When you understand the why AND you agree that it’s a good idea, following through with action is usually much easier. Of course, we all still have our irrational resistance to things, and we act against our own best interests. Such is being human.

Your best self knows what to do and why, however. Take time to find that voice and listen to it instead of acting impulsively. It takes practice.

Okay, what’s so important about completion? Completion is what stops clutter, mental and physical, from happening. Completion means that you begin a task, you finish it, and then you do the third step to complete it, which is to set everything up so whatever is next can easily occur. I know, that’s a little abstract. Here are some examples.

Shopping. You need to buy things, you go out and you buy them (or order online, doesn’t matter). They arrive. Great. Now they’re on your dining table. Maybe you’ve taken them out of the boxes and bags. Good work. A lot of people stop there.

The purchasing is done, you got the stuff. The hard part is over and now you can go do something else. You’ll take care of putting stuff away later. Right? Not really. This step is deceptively difficult because it involves decision making.

The completion step is getting those purchases to their next destination; the fridge, your closet, your handbag, etc. It sounds simple, but it’s common to omit this part. When you do omit it, you have clutter on your table. Yes, a newly purchased item is clutter on your table if it’s not in the place where you will use it.

I hope you can hear the emphasis in my voice on those last five words. Things you own need to be where you will use them, or stored in their own specific place.

In my experience, people find it hard to put things away. They optimistically put this off, thinking it will take a few minutes, sometime later. But when pressed, they realize that they haven’t put things away because they don’t know where they go. In podcasts 15, 25 and 61, among others, I talk about figuring out where to put things. It’s one of those very simple, yet essential, skills you need to prevent and fix clutter.

Completion extends to tasks like setting up that new phone so you CAN use it, and trying out the new tray tables you bought to make sure they work and you don’t need to return them. That’s for new stuff coming in.

Completion is necessary for any actions you do. Here’s an example. One of my clients complained that although her husband was happy to do the family laundry and she appreciated it, he ended his task with the clean laundry folded neatly in the hamper sitting on top of the dryer. What’s wrong with that picture?

The problem was that now my client had to go through all the clothes; hers, her husband’s and the two kids’; and put them all away where they belonged. Hubby wasn’t doing the completion step, which is putting each item in the spot where it will be used, the appropriate closet or dresser.

Besides not knowing where things go, people tend to resist completion because they think it will take a long time. Putting away a family’s laundry can be time consuming, that’s true. It will save time, though, when you need to get dressed and aren’t rooting through the hamper, or even the dirty clothes, to find what you need.

This is why I keep preaching that you should make putting stuff away as easy as possible. Imagine this scenario. You come home, set your purse on a chair, hang your jacket on a nearby doorknob, kick your shoes off under a table, set your keys down, well, somewhere. We’ll worry about that later.

You pull the ice cream out of one of your bags and put it in the freezer. There! Done! You open the shoe box and realize you need to get inserts before you can wear the shoes. The shoes go back in the box, but the tissue paper gets balled up next to it.

You push those aside to look at the magazine you bought. Ad cards come tumbling out. You gather them and stack them near the shoe box. Next you glance through the mail you’ve brought in. It’s a mix of bills, announcements, mystery items and junk. Too much to think about. You put the stack near the shoe box.

Ooof! That was tiring! Time to sit down for a bit. You look around and see purse, jacket and shoes cluttering up the living room, and mail and shopping bags and boxes and random paper filling up the kitchen counter. No wonder you’re tired.

If this is you, go back through the scenario and see where completion needs to occur. The jacket goes in the closet or on a coat rack. The purse goes on the entry hall table, along with your keys. Your shoes go into a rack in the hall or in your clothes closet. Everything has a spot that is fairly easy to get to.

The ice cream is stored, so that’s done. For the shoes, make a note on your to do list to get inserts, then put the box in your closet. They don’t need to stay out as reminders as long as the task is on your list. Put the magazine in the living room or your bedside table; wherever you’ve decided to keep reading material.

Put the mail on your desk or household command center, wherever that is. Even if you don’t get to it for a few days, it will be in a place you can find it again and not cluttering up the counter. Finally, collect all the trash and recyclable paper and put it where it belongs.

Ta da! Now you can take a load off and really relax. It may seem like a lot of piddly little to do’s, but this kind of completion doesn’t take much time, and it will save you from physical and mental clutter.

What you can do right now: look around you for things that are out of place that you know how to put away. Spend a minute or two and just do it.

Podcast 099: The virtual team

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This is podcast 99 and it’s about a productivity tool I call the virtual team. You assemble a virtual team with people in your life to help you be accountable. I came up with this idea for one of my clients who’s a consultant. He works for a company but doesn’t have an office there. His job involves working with people from different departments on different projects. So for the most part, he’s running the show.

Sometimes his projects aren’t moving along as fast as they could though. In a typical work setting, he’d be meeting regularly with colleagues and sending reports to his boss. There would be a structure and timeline for each project that was the responsibility of more than one person, and each person had a role to play.

When you’re independent or work for yourself, you don’t have that structure. A lot of my podcasts have been about ways you can motivate yourself and sustain that when you have only yourself to answer to. Because that’s me! I don’t have a boss, or I’m the boss and the employee. I can take initiative and get things done, most of the time. But I also benefit from my virtual team.

So, what’s a virtual team? It’s a collection of people you make yourself accountable to. It’s the department colleagues you would have at a regular job. It also exists in your personal life. Weight Watchers is a great example. Besides offering recipes and eating programs, they provide in-person meetings. The company says that meeting attenders lost nearly eight times more than those who tried to lose weight on their own. Why? The magic of accountability!

Here’s the plan for my client. We identified his contact people for the three projects that currently have the most traction. We sketched out rough timelines for each project. In podcast 79 I talked about working backwards in order to figure out a timeline. You start with the end result. It’s easier to see what had to happen right before that and right before that than it is to try to see the end point from the beginning.

Once we had the timeline we could see where my client might get hung up and start procrastinating. Those are the times to schedule a virtual team member call. He could use the call to get more information, or he could use it as a deadline to complete a piece of the project and report on it. Having the calls on his calendar gave more structure to the timeline.

The interesting thing is that your team members don’t have to know they’re on your team. In some cases that might be awkward, for example, if you pick a client to be on your team. It makes sense to check in with your client, but you don’t want to put the client in a position of receiving your report.

One way that works in my business is that I announce I will do something, like provide a new service, by a certain date. That gets me motivated to finish the thing off so I can present it when I promised I would. I feel that someone is expecting it and that is inspiring to me. It also encourages me to put tasks on the calendar and complete them because I’ve given myself a reason that they should happen now, not next month or next year or sometime in the future.

Another way it works is that I have two friends who are also solo business owners that I talk to every week. We don’t have a specific agenda for our calls, although that’s a great idea. Still, the calls give some shape to my week and I think about what I’ll tell them in advance. If I told Paula I’d start writing copy for my new class, I really want to get that done before we talk so I can tell her how it went and get some feedback.

Another key feature of the virtual team technique is that it helps create urgency. The client I’ve been writing about is prone to putting things off until the last minute and then he doesn’t have time to do as good a job as he’d like to with, say, a report he needs to deliver at a meeting. Regular calls with a virtual team member create small urgencies that prompt him to complete small pieces of the project over time, rather than cramming an hour before the meeting.

Urgency creates focus. The more you perceive urgency for a particular task, the more everything else drops out of the picture so it’s not distracting you anymore. It’s also exciting! Too much urgency can cause panic and shutdown, but just the right amount gets you in the groove so you can do your best work.

What you can do now: think about who you could recruit for your virtual team. Friends can work if they are in a similar situation to yours so they have insights and experiences in common with you. Family members can work. People in your field that you meet through networking, or a mentor. Then start assembling your team.

Podcast 098: Working on your own

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This is Podcast 98 and it’s about getting organized on your own, whether it’s just you, a couple or a family. If hiring an organizer isn’t in your budget, what can you do? Well, I’m not going to dissuade anyone from working on their own. It certainly can be done. My aim in doing this podcast is to give you valuable tips and ideas that you can implement on your own.

In this podcast I’ll give you some guidelines. First, as you know if you’ve taken my ecourse, is to have a vision. Podcast 57 was about that subject, so go back and listen if you haven’t already. Creating a vision is like picking a spot on the map to go to. If you start walking or driving without a destination in mind, you’ll end up in places you don’t want to be, or waste time doubling back or just plain get lost.

Your vision should include how things look and also how they feel, how you feel. You want to have a positive sense of being invested in the project to keep you motivated. It’s much easier to stay motivated when you have a positive vision pulling you forward.

If you want to declutter because your spouse gave you an ultimatum, that’s negative motivation. It will probably get you moving, but you’ll experience fear and anxiety that will not help you make good decisions or work effectively.

Once you have a vision, you can use it to set some goals. I believe in SMART goals, which are specific, measureable, attainable, relevant and time based. There is tons of information about SMART goals online, so I won’t go into this further. Using this formula, you’ll be more likely to come up with goals that aren’t too huge or vague or trivial.

Once you’ve got a goal, or goals, the next thing to do is to figure out what action you can take to move toward your goal. This can be a tricky transition. I find that often people have trouble moving from the big goal and vision to what they can do right now. And what you can do right now is another regular feature of my podcasts. I want to put you into action!

Partly it’s because the goal can seem a bit overwhelming even if it’s a SMART goal. Partly it’s because you have to translate a somewhat abstract goal into concrete action. Partly it’s because you need to pick a place to start. I’ve talked about all those issues in previous podcasts.

Here’s the secret: pretty much any action is a good action. Anything that gets you into motion, that moves you from point A to point A.2 is good action. You overcome the inertia of remaining in one place and get to the inertia of remaining in motion.

I want to talk a bit about how to proceed if it’s not just you doing the organizing. If you’re going to work with your partner or family, that changes things a bit. The first rule is that you can’t organize anyone else’s stuff if they’re older than, say, 6. Family members have to have a say in what happens to their stuff, at the very least and ideally be on board for the project in a positive way.

The second rule is to be flexible. This is a basic relationship rule. You can try the “my way or the highway” method, but it works better to compromise and come to solutions that everyone can agree on.

A good way to get buy in from family members who aren’t as enthusiastic as you are about getting organized is to chose methods that are as easy and simple as possible. I recently worked with a client who’s husband threw his dirty underwear behind the bathroom door every night. He knew where the hamper was, but it was all the way in the bedroom. Their bathroom was pretty small, but I suggested my client get a little basket that fit under the sink for laundry. And it worked. He wasn’t averse to being tidy, he just needed it to be easier.

The third rule is to be specific. If you want your living room to be tidier but you don’t describe what that means, your partner is likely to straighten up some piles of magazines and that’s it. I’ve seen this happen a lot. This goes back to the specific and measureable aspects of your goal.

You need to be clear that a tidy living room has no cast off clothes in it, no used coffee cups, no piles of paperwork, whatever it is you decide on. That way, if there are disagreements, at least you’ll all be discussing the same thing.

My third rule is to make it fun! Especially if you want to get kids involved, and you should, make putting things away into a game or a race. Put on upbeat music. Plan a reward for everyone. It works well to have various family members do their chores at the same time, even if they aren’t working together. That way, you can hold the space for each other. It’s more motivating to do a chore when you know everyone else is doing their chore too.

What you can do right now. If it’s just you, clarify and sharpen your vision and see what goals emerge from that. If there are others involved, start enrolling them in your vision and goals so they can participate.

Podcast 097: Sorting

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Podcast 97, this one, is about sorting. Back in podcast 61 I talked about general sorting principles. I find sorting to be easy and even kind of fun. Do you remember the Sesame Street recurring sketch called “One of these things”? In the sketch, there were four objects and one of them was different from the others. It’s the preschooler’s job to figure out which one is different. In one, Big Bird has four bowls of bird seed that are alike in shape, color and contents, but one is much bigger.

Sometimes the other three weren’t all alike, but at least two objects had a feature in common, so they couldn’t be the one that wasn’t like the others. It made you think about how to categorize things. You had to think about characteristics such as shape, color and size, and also about purpose and use.

I worked with a client and her young daughter the other day organizing the stuffies, of which there were quite a few. We started with type of animal and that worked fine for bears and dogs, but then we had too many one-offs; a dragon, a snake, a giraffe. So we talked about other qualities they had; fur or not, how many legs, solid color or patterned, and tail length.

The point is, there are many ways to categorize almost anything. Your first concept might not work out but you need to start somewhere or you won’t get anywhere. So how can you apply this to non stuffed animal situations? A great spot to apply it is to a box of miscellany or a junk drawer.

The reason those things are hard to sort is that there are too many things to consider at once. I’ve talked before about how decision making gets harder the more choices you have. This is similar.

Next time you have a bunch of miscellaneous items to sort through try this. Scan through it and see if any categories surface for you. Recently, I went through such a box with a client and the first category I spotted was pens. We collected all the pens and put them in a pile. Then, I noticed loose change. We got all that out into a pile. After that was electronic items; chargers, cords and memory sticks. Another pile. And so on.

Every time we removed a category of stuff, there was less to sort through, obviously. Having the quantity reduced meant less sorting work. But there was also less comparing to do because there were fewer things to compare.

When you sort and compare, you look at an item and run it through a series of filters in your mind. It mostly happens so quickly you aren’t aware of it. Sorting out the coins for example. Once you sight a quarter in the box, your mind attunes to round, metal, flat, raised printing and your eyes seek out other objects with those qualities. You don’t consciously do it; you already have a mental image of what a coin looks like. This is pattern recognition. People naturally seek out patterns around them.

But there’s more to organizing than visual patterns. We need to consider uses and purposes as well, and those vary. Once you identify those metal things as coins, the next step is to ask yourself where they go, which is a further characterization. They might go right into your pocket. They might go into your son’s piggy bank. They might go into a cup where you keep the Laundromat change.

This may seem self evident, but when I search online for articles about sorting, mostly what I come up with is clever and adorable containers to put things into. People love containers, I notice. People who hate organizing love containers. It’s kind of funny. You can have all your stuff carefully put away into fabulous containers and be horribly disorganized.

That’s because things go into the containers based on visual criteria like their size or color, or because there are things that need to be off the table and they end up in whatever container is closest. Don’t succumb to this!

Visual categorizing is most helpful when you’re going through a big bunch of stuff. On a daily basis, the stuff you encounter needs to be sorted by its use and purpose. You don’t need to categorize it because you’re not comparing it to something else.

What you can do now: find a surface like the dining table or kitchen counter that has a small collection of items that don’t belong there. As you scan them, see if you can quickly identify where each thing goes; what it’s purpose and use is.

Podcast 096: The four tendencies: questioner

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This is podcast 96 and it’s about being a questioner as one of the four tendencies. If you’ve been listening to me for awhile, you know I love to ask questions! I love to ask what I call stupid questions, the ones that people don’t ask because they take the answer for granted and it doesn’t occur them that they even CAN question it.

I’ve always been this way. When I was a kid my dad gave me a book called Can elephants Swim? which answered lots of questions he couldn’t respond to. Whenever I hear someone say, “well, we’ve always done it this way” it drives me nuts. Why, why, why? I want to ask!

This is why I run my own business and it’s a business where questioning is extremely useful and important. I’m not a very good employee, also for this reason. When rules don’t make sense to me, I don’t obey them.

I AM good at following rules if they’re explained to me and make sense, but in so many jobs, rules come down from the top and no one can explain them. On top of that, there’s all the wasted time and energy devoted to such silly rules. Okay, enough ranting.

I’m exploring this because I’m taking the Four Tendencies course with Gretchen Rubin based on her book. The other tendencies are the Upholder, the Obliger and the Rebel. These group are different in their approach to expectations.

In a nutshell, Upholder honor internal and external commitments, Questioners tend to honor mostly internal commitments, Obligers give preference to external commitments and Rebels, as you may have guessed, don’t honor any commitments!

Like knowing your Enneagram number or even your zodiac sign, learning about your tendency can help you identify what techniques will work best for you to be more organized, manage time better, etc. If you’re a questioner as I am, you’ll do a lot of research before selecting a method to try. You’ll want to know why it is the way it is, how those decisions came to be made. And if you adopt it, you’ll probably end up customizing it to suit you better; improving it because you know best and tossing out the bad stuff because it’s obviously stupid and unnecessary.

I haven’t gotten to the part of the course yet where I get to find out details about the other three tendencies. But in general, Upholders can easily come to congruence with internal and external expectations; they fulfill commitments to themselves and have no problem doing what others want as well.

Obligers tend to forsake their own personal commitments in favor of helping others or going along with the program. But if they’re asked to do too much, apparently they snap and make dramatic changes in their lives. Rebels don’t much like to be accountable and highly value their freedom, even it if means procrastination and lack of productivity that doesn’t serve them. I’ll do another episode on this once I get through the course.

But you can start thinking now whether you are more likely to keep commitments to yourself or to others. If you think you’re an Obliger, you’ll probably do better with an off the shelf solution, something that’s been created and offered as a complete solution, or with a coach or teacher who will lay out a program for you to follow.

An Upholder would also do well with a pre-designed package solution, although Upholders are inclined to want to take on too much and possibly burn out. They often want to cross every T and dot every I just because the instructions say so.

A questioner does best with a system of components that can be added to or subtracted from as he or she sees fit. Questioners pay attention to how well something is working for them and looks for ways to improve or replace it.

Rebels, like questioners, want things their way, but they need to be careful not to reject ideas just because someone or some book or some program suggests them. They do better if they can focus on the benefit they’ll get, rather than on who suggested it.

Here’s an example, the to do list. An upholder can’t wait to get to her to do list and start doing the tasks. A questioner reviews his list often to make sure everything on there is there for a good reason. An obliger may get through the to do list, but discover that everything she did was according to someone else’s priorities. A rebel says, “I don’t need any stinking to do list!”

What you can do right now:

Not every organizing method works for everyone. The more you know about yourself, the easier it is to find a solution that does work for you. Put yourself into the to do list descriptions above and see which feels the most like you.

Podcast 095: Prioritizing

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This is podcast 95 and it’s about prioritizing. I’m surprised to look back and see that I haven’t talked about this concept much! It came up last night with my coaching group as we started our month of focusing on time management.

Speaking of the group, May has just begun, so it’s not too late to join the group. You can find out details on my homepage, cluttercoach.net.

Lack of prioritizing is a big reason that people get overwhelmed and do nothing, or they focus on the wrong things because they’re not looking at the big picture. To me, the most important factor in choosing priorities for how to spend your time each day is how well they reflect your life goals. After all, there’s no point in being productive and efficient if you’re spending time on things that don’t matter.

This is an important topic. Many people never write down their goals, for a variety of reasons. It’s said that writing them down is a better indicator of achieving them than not, so it’s a good idea, but at the very least, you should have an idea of what they are.

A tool life coaches use is the Wheel of Life. You can google that and come up with tons of examples. Basically, it’s a pie chart with each slice assigned to an area of your life, such as family. There are basic categories, but you should feel free to add your own or rename them. It’s your life, they’re your categories!

A pie chart is a good technique because it shows you graphically how big each slice is relative to the others. Most wheels have each slice the same size, but it’s worthwhile to draw them to reflect what’s happening in your life and see where you’d like to make changes.

After you have a good idea of what your goals are, ideally in an at-a-glance format such as the Wheel of Life or a short list of evocative phrases, you can refer to it to screen your activities. Note that this is not only for being productive. Fun, recreation and social life should also be in your pie so you have some life balance. But even balance is optional! There’s no rule that says all your slices have to be the same size. They just need to reflect how you want to live your life.

If you think of projects and to do’s associated with your goals that you’re not ready to tackle yet, capture them in a master list. Podcast 35 was about this topic. Use this list for everything that pops into your head that you’d like to do, accomplish, be, have, experience, etc. That way your mind can rest and you don’t have to keep reminding yourself of things you can’t do right now.

Goals and therefore priorities change over time. Don’t be afraid to alter your list if you start down a path that turns out not to be right for you. As I’ve said many times, you don’t necessarily know where a path will go until you walk on it for awhile.

Often you’ll find that the slice that needs some help is one containing a goal you’re procrastinating on. Maybe it seems too big or not do-able at all in your current situation. It qualifies as something that’s important but not urgent and we all know that humans are prone to focusing on urgent tasks at the expense of ones that are actually important. But if you’ve affirmed it as a value in your life, it’s time to prioritize it.

So the sequence is this. Look at your to do list and make sure each to do is related to pushing forward one of your life goals. Screen it using your pie. If you don’t have such a list, make one now! This list is of current stuff, not your daily to do list.

Now you make your daily to do list, making sure to include tasks that are important along with all the urgent ones, although I suggest being honest about what is truly urgent and that only YOU can do. Mark each task as being urgent or important, although some can be both.

Next, prioritize your list so that you are doing as many important tasks as you can while still getting the urgent ones ticked off. Depending on how your particular list looks, you could alternate, starting with an important task. Or you could do only important tasks till lunch, then do the rest in the afternoon. I like this strategy because urgent tasks usually come with an adrenaline rush that can keep you going in the afternoon. You want to save your valuable mental energy time for the important tasks.

Mixing it up a bit can also help lower your resistance to the important tasks, which by definition will be small steps that advance your goals, not entire projects. Refer back to podcast 24 for more detail on that point. Small steps are ones that you are totally clear on and know you are capable of doing. Once you check one off you can go on to the next thing.

It sounds straightforward, but it does require some work and attention; first, to come up with your goals pie and second, to get used to screening your to dos based on your goals and values. But this is how you get to look back over the past year and feel good that you made some progress, however small, on what’s really important to you.

What you can do now: get one of those Wheels of Life and fill it in! If you’ve already done that step, start a master list. If you have that too, look at your current projects and apply the screening technique to the first one.