This is the second part of my series on Linda Sapadin's six procrastination styles, based on her book, It's About Time! Last year I wrote about perfectionism. Today's style is overdoing. The other styles are the dreamer, the defier, the worrier and the crisis-maker.
- feel they have to do more work than others to prove themselves, even if it's too much to handle
- hate to say no or ask for help, again from a desire for approval and respect
- spread themselves too thin, causing them to have to work even harder
- let their work rule their time so that personal needs and relationships are put on hold
- have a hard time relaxing without feeling guilty or ashamed
Now, how do you go about changing those habits? Dr. Sapadin writes that overdoers often have low self-esteem and overwork to compensate for it. In my view, they also let their lives be controlled by external forces.
A good place to start in overcoming overdoing is to bring yourself back to your own goals, your own vision of how you want to live. Take a clear, hard look at all that you do and be honest about whether each activity is fulfilling to you or something you're doing for approval, image or obligation.
Here are Dr. Sapadin's suggestions:
- Accept that you can't "have it all." You're not superwoman or superman and that's fine.
- Remember that life is an adventure, not a struggle. We all have different capacities for work; when you exceed yours it starts to be drudgery instead of exciting.
- Distinguish between what you believe is important to do versus what others want, or what you "should" be doing
- Don't depend on others for approval. This gets easier the more you reaffirm your own goals and desires.
- Remember that ultimately it's you who decides how to spend your time. You aren't really a victim of other people or circumstances, so take back your control.
- Write leisure time into your schedule so you'll remember to take a break!
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